Post by Jazz on Jun 10, 2012 14:20:43 GMT -5
”All That Jazz” Broadcast
September 10, 2517
3:12 P.M A.S.T
- On the screen there is the image of a pretty world reminiscent to that of a Central Planet. Suddenly a giant monster that looks like a horrifically ugly fish with giant teeth comes up and swallows up the world. It rests for only a second and strains itself, as out of its rear end appears a brown world. The fish swims away, and from the brown world that remains a giant radio signal tower grows from the northern pole of the planet-
”… Well what the fuck was in it?...... *an inaudible voice is heard*….What? Fuck! I don’t want any more of it then, take it out… That’s fucking disgusting….. Shénshèng de gǒu shǐ cóng tāng chúfáng…. HO SHIT… I didn’t even realize we were back on… Ehem… Good afternoon gropers along the goose line… Your back with Jazz, and all that. I was just taking a sip of something called “Dàdào lán – Boulevard the Blue”, a drink produced by some of our not so willing sponsors, and let me tell you… It’s terrible… fucking awful… like drinking rain water that was absorbed by the inside lining of a leather jacket then leaked out onto a sponge and then fed into my throat…. And you say people drink this….. *an inaudible voice is heard*… Well fuck them, they can drink their Boulevard of Poo… I’ll stick to Velvet Copes…. and of course a smoke to wash it all down. *a click of a lighter is heard*…. Ahhh that’s nice…. *an inaudible voice is heard*… how much damage can it possibly do to the system… *an inaudible voice is heard*… so what…. *an inaudible voice is heard*…. Can you believe this people, the techs are telling me that smoking in here could damage the equipment… Well I pay for the damn equipment so I’ll smoke all I want!.... You know what… I’m starting a pole right now… It’ll be active in a moment… viewers can vote on whether they think I should be aloud to smoke all I want… THE PEOPLE WILL DECIDE GREG! THE PEOPLE WILL DECIDE IF I CAN SMOKE… an inaudible voice is heard*.
”Shut up Greg… anyway… I was talking about our sponsors… See I love our sponsors… Well unwilling sponsors… Heh, cus see… how it works… is we find the most ridiculously pro Alliance companies that deal in the stupidest products imaginable… and that’s all we advertise… We don’t let anyone do it willingly since those companies would be fined or shut down for supporting our righteous cause… of drifting illegality… Greg when was the last time we paid our cortex broadcast licensing fee?... *an inaudible voice is heard*…. Yeah, but when was the last time… *an inaudible voice is heard*… Yeah I don’t remember either… all I know is it’s been years… But instead of enjoying the wonderful free advertising those companies are getting… they continuously file lawsuits against us… Unfortunately we’ve failed to appear in court since the first one was filed four years ago… and we’ve piled em on like the stars of ‘Gordans Galaxy’ piles on parking tickets.
But the simple fact is there never gonna catch us, cus they don’t even know where we are. The Feds always show up just a little late… But I swear… we’ll be signing autographs in front of the Parliament High Chambers this upcoming Wednesday from 3 PM till 6, and you can take that to the bank… Hahahahaha…. Ah, God, well we’ll show up in court one day… maybe…. Maybe not… I might just be lyin’ again… you know like Greg over there when he says that there are signs that say no smoking near the equipment… *an inaudible voice is heard*… NO THERE ISN’T GREG… *an inaudible voice is heard*… Oh… Well I’m gonna pay Fong thirty extra if he takes them all down... *an inaudible voice is heard*… Shit… right he’s on vacation… Alright I’m gonna do it myself… Be back after this short break m’ lordless people… Enjoy this wonderful stream of advertisements from… uh…. Halworths (Breaks when you buy it) Steel Tools…
<End Transmission
September 10, 2517
3:12 P.M A.S.T
- On the screen there is the image of a pretty world reminiscent to that of a Central Planet. Suddenly a giant monster that looks like a horrifically ugly fish with giant teeth comes up and swallows up the world. It rests for only a second and strains itself, as out of its rear end appears a brown world. The fish swims away, and from the brown world that remains a giant radio signal tower grows from the northern pole of the planet-
”… Well what the fuck was in it?...... *an inaudible voice is heard*….What? Fuck! I don’t want any more of it then, take it out… That’s fucking disgusting….. Shénshèng de gǒu shǐ cóng tāng chúfáng…. HO SHIT… I didn’t even realize we were back on… Ehem… Good afternoon gropers along the goose line… Your back with Jazz, and all that. I was just taking a sip of something called “Dàdào lán – Boulevard the Blue”, a drink produced by some of our not so willing sponsors, and let me tell you… It’s terrible… fucking awful… like drinking rain water that was absorbed by the inside lining of a leather jacket then leaked out onto a sponge and then fed into my throat…. And you say people drink this….. *an inaudible voice is heard*… Well fuck them, they can drink their Boulevard of Poo… I’ll stick to Velvet Copes…. and of course a smoke to wash it all down. *a click of a lighter is heard*…. Ahhh that’s nice…. *an inaudible voice is heard*… how much damage can it possibly do to the system… *an inaudible voice is heard*… so what…. *an inaudible voice is heard*…. Can you believe this people, the techs are telling me that smoking in here could damage the equipment… Well I pay for the damn equipment so I’ll smoke all I want!.... You know what… I’m starting a pole right now… It’ll be active in a moment… viewers can vote on whether they think I should be aloud to smoke all I want… THE PEOPLE WILL DECIDE GREG! THE PEOPLE WILL DECIDE IF I CAN SMOKE… an inaudible voice is heard*.
”Shut up Greg… anyway… I was talking about our sponsors… See I love our sponsors… Well unwilling sponsors… Heh, cus see… how it works… is we find the most ridiculously pro Alliance companies that deal in the stupidest products imaginable… and that’s all we advertise… We don’t let anyone do it willingly since those companies would be fined or shut down for supporting our righteous cause… of drifting illegality… Greg when was the last time we paid our cortex broadcast licensing fee?... *an inaudible voice is heard*…. Yeah, but when was the last time… *an inaudible voice is heard*… Yeah I don’t remember either… all I know is it’s been years… But instead of enjoying the wonderful free advertising those companies are getting… they continuously file lawsuits against us… Unfortunately we’ve failed to appear in court since the first one was filed four years ago… and we’ve piled em on like the stars of ‘Gordans Galaxy’ piles on parking tickets.
But the simple fact is there never gonna catch us, cus they don’t even know where we are. The Feds always show up just a little late… But I swear… we’ll be signing autographs in front of the Parliament High Chambers this upcoming Wednesday from 3 PM till 6, and you can take that to the bank… Hahahahaha…. Ah, God, well we’ll show up in court one day… maybe…. Maybe not… I might just be lyin’ again… you know like Greg over there when he says that there are signs that say no smoking near the equipment… *an inaudible voice is heard*… NO THERE ISN’T GREG… *an inaudible voice is heard*… Oh… Well I’m gonna pay Fong thirty extra if he takes them all down... *an inaudible voice is heard*… Shit… right he’s on vacation… Alright I’m gonna do it myself… Be back after this short break m’ lordless people… Enjoy this wonderful stream of advertisements from… uh…. Halworths (Breaks when you buy it) Steel Tools…
<End Transmission